An Year Has Gone, An Year To Go

4th June 2014, that’s today. 4th June 2013, that was last year. Somewhere, somehow, something may have happened that day in my life, in everyone’s life. I remember the first rains in Ahmedabad last year which stuck thunder at about 9 PM on a day which I have not forgotten yet, maybe time will fade my memories but I’ll type it before it fades off…

Last year, the sun was as bright as it is today, though theoretically the degrees were lower. The moon was as hidden as today, just because there wasn’t much time in our busy lives to gaze at it. Yes it still exists, shining all over us. Last year, I was at my home, today, I am again at my home, well actually I have always been at my home. Last year, I used to message my friends on Facebook, this year is no different.

Last year I did something I can’t change now, this year I did something that I can’t change either. Past. Its past and past can’t be changed. Neither can it be improved. All that we can work is with our futures… for the greater good.

I remember last year I was lying at my bed thinking about something I never got, something I wished. But how near am I to that thing today? Or does it even matter now? Does it even matter to find it, prove it, to go for it? We always say that things change. But do they? Does our wishlist ever change?

I remember as a small child I used to collect Pokemon cards that came free with some candies. Maybe if I get the same offer on the candy today, I would still go for it. To collect some more happiness in my life. To grow my happiness, to collect my happiness.

All our lives, we try to collect happiness, store it and someday, suddenly you check the old case where your Pokemon cards are… where your happiness is… and you can’t find it anymore… its gone. Lost. And you may never be able to gather it back ever.

I always joke with my friends that matter can’t be destroyed as the law of conservation of mass says, so if you have lost something, its still in the universe somewhere but out of your reach. But is it the same with happiness?

If I say, that last year while I was watching the rains flood the Ahmedabad streets at night, I lost one small part of my past, my present and future by doing something… by saying something… and I lost a part of my happiness stored in me because of that, does it mean the happiness is still in the universe… but I can’t find it?

Maybe the rains took it and passed it along on its way…? But the rains never reached to its destination as I would have wanted.. even after an year.

Today, I am here, waiting for the rains to come back, a monsoon to flood the streets once again and I’m trying to analyze… whether I really lost something in the last 365 days or gained something more important. Did my happiness turn into something more important?

Did my last year’s deeds and its consequences that I lived in the past 365 days… make me an year older and wiser?

Or did the matter really destroy…